elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
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why the fuck would you email a tumblr post to someone
hey grandma you gotta read this johnlock smut fic
(via pantherlily)
fictional lands before prostate glands
my new motto
(Source: rolauren, via dane-the-prince-of-space)
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”
YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
(Source: iseeavoice, via dane-the-prince-of-space)
I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope God made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
(via dane-the-prince-of-space)
boys stand up to pee
girls sit down to pee
boys sit down to poop
girls stand up to poop
how backwards is that??
I’m sorry but I have never stood up to poop
yo whatever
(Source: chickensandwich, via dane-the-prince-of-space)
general psa:
freedom of speech means that the government is not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up. it doesn’t mean that i am not allowed to tell you to shut the fuck up.
(via dane-the-prince-of-space)
As your girlfriend, I will make it my duty to make you turned on at the most inappropriate of times.
(Source: whotoldyouu, via i-violetharmon)
omfg my mom dropped her iphone in the toilet so she fished it out and desperately yelled ‘SIRI I DROPPED YOU IN THE TOILET WHAT DO I DO’ and siri replied ‘Tara, you have 28 events in July. That’s a lot.’ and then died
#more dramatic than romeo and juliet
(Source: grintaire, via ohhshiititslaurenn)
40 love letters – Jeanann Verlee
(via belle—inconnue)
(via realecornelius)
Dear Dennis, I still think of you
Dear Andre, I saw you kiss her, haven’t looked back
Dear Patrick, you’re just too young
Dear Eric, I said horrible things about you; your teeth are fine
It’s the rest of you I don’t like
Dear Greg, thank you for the poem; for every single scar
Dear William, I love you, simple, I like that we will never be “WE”
Dear Jay, the bruises fell off, eventually
Dear Michael, I will never be enough to fill the shoes that will one day stand at your side
Dear Ben, I did read your letters, all of them
Dear Freeman, I will never stop looking over my shoulder, boots laced, ready to run
Dear John, I’ll always love you; you are all there ever was
Dear Derrik, there was no one thing; your everything is impossible
Dear Eddie, we are refracting magnets, we will battle this out to the end
Dear Dennis, I still think of you
Dear Ryan, sex under the street light was a delicious accident
Dear Kevin, your kiss came too late; my lips were already dancing in another room with John
Dear Ethan, NO
Dear Joshua, I said you were too pretty
They said to try it anyway
They are fools
Dear Avery, you are the definition of unrequited
Dear Skippy, sorry bout the whiskey and the tampon, sorry I never called you
Dear Nate, until you mocked my smile, I was yours
Dear Mark, I like your wife too much, is your brother still single?
Dear Mitch, you were my biggest mistake, I’m sure this only makes your smile more sinister
Dear Allen, while you poured Guinness for Patrick, I pictured you bending me over the bar
Dear Graham, I would have swallowed that bullet
Dear Miguel, you said a man never forgets his first red head
What color are my eyes?
Dear Dennis, I still think of you
Dear Francis, I’d have broken you
Dear Chris, I’m sorry I stopped you; I’d try and forget me too
Dear Dex, I can’t be with you again, just accept it
Dear Dr. Mathews, no, I’ll have you fired, again
Dear Aidan, I wrote a poem about you, it’s everyone’s favorite, I think it’s trite
Dear Logan, I think I’ve finally stopped wanting you
Dear Cynthia, I was drunk… I thought you were too
Dear Ricky, maybe it was the red dress or because I was 15,
Your brother married my mother on the same day I first touched your cock
Maybe your still a pervert, go away
Dear Jeff, I was your biggest mistake
Dear Robert, you are more then beer and vomit
You are more then I could ever put into a poem
Dear Dennis, I still think of you
Dear Dennis, I keep your photos in a box, each one still in its frame
my dad just yelled “IT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A BOY IN THERE”
(via f-a-nc-y)
